I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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