OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
