i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
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I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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