I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
