dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
