A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
