So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize