If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
