"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize