I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
