He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
