butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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