READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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