It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
