Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize