You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
