Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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