Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
FUCK WHALES
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