U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
