I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
