i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
