y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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