i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
