every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
