so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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