First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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