your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
