I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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