Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
