hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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