This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
