she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
