very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
