The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
