Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
