I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
