My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
