I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
