Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
