I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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