your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
