I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
