im gay
i know
yea but for you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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