sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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