i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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