i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
