ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
