I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
