i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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