she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
