There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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