hotel room ftw
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
