SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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