Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
