I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
