Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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