If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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