just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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