i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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