Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
