This house was built for laser tag.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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