So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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