Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
