i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
