the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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