I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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